However you and your spouse feel about each other, you should thoroughly understand the possible impacts of parents divorcing on their children. Read more here. 

Are you having problems with your spouse, and you plan on getting a divorce? Do you want to know how a divorce may affect your kid? Keep reading to find out the long-term effects of divorce on children.

In 2018, the National Center for Health recorded over 782,000 divorces in 45 states and DC. Out of over 2.1 million marriages in that year, 36% ended with divorce. While it can feel freeing for the two partners involved, their child will experience a lot of stress.

This guide will highlight 8 ways kids get affected by their parents divorcing.

1. Kids Learn to Blame Themselves for Things They Have No Control Over

Partners who often disagree fight. For other parents, this fighting each other may be one of the reasons for their divorce. Note that these are things that a child has no control over.

Kids who see their parents fighting can have anxiety or depression. Infants may develop sleep disturbance. What’s more heartbreaking is that some kids may start blaming themselves for the divorce.

Many young kids start thinking that their parent’s divorce is their fault. Grade school children are especially vulnerable to having these thoughts. They are at an age where they understand to some degree, but not enough.

Children have no control over the parents’ choices and divorce. The child doesn’t know this, however.

2. A Child’s Physical Health May Decline

Many adults focus on their mental and emotional health in a relationship. Often, they forget that their children’s mental health is in a more vulnerable state. That’s not all because kids can show the stress they feel from the divorce through physical illnesses as well.

Seeing one’s parents divorcing can cause changes in a child’s physical health. Some of the most obvious signs are weight loss, loss of appetite, or stomach problems. Kids may also have a harder time sleeping and may even develop a compromised immune system.

These health problems may even continue to appear even as they grow into adulthood. So if you’re divorcing, don’t sign your child in for counseling only. Consider bringing them to the pediatrician, too.

3. Kids of Divorcing Parents Fail at School And/Or Act Out

Unlike adults, kids don’t know how to express themselves well enough yet. Young kids often can’t communicate what they feel in a healthy way. Thus, they resort to using other methods.

A child that was once very smart and academically inclined may have failing grades. A child’s academic performance can be a reflection of the family situation at home. Kids are more likely to succeed in school when they aren’t dealing with important family matters.

Older children tend to act out by engaging in risky behavior early. This means they either start engaging in sexual activities or start using substances. This is how they “forget” about the messy divorce that their parents are going through.

4. Custody Affect Kids’ Relationships With Their Parents

In movies and TV, it’s common to see the caring parent lose custody of the child to the less responsible parent. In some cases, the parent who loses the child in the custody hearings is the one that’s close to the child. These things also happen in real life in the US.

Your little boy may prefer seeing his father more. However, the judge may decide that he needs to stay with you until he’s a little older. He may start seeing you as the adult that took him from his beloved dad.

Before you decide to get a divorce, consult a child custody lawyer. They’ll be able to help you learn more about child custody.

5. Instability and Lack of Consistency Marks a Kid’s Personality

The kids between two divorcing families have to deal with different rules from each one. They also have to adjust to the different living arrangements often. This isn’t a good thing for children to undergo.

If you’re going to get a divorce, make sure that both your rules for your kid remain the same. You want your kid to have stability in their life and experience consistency in discipline. This way, the child feels like they’re on better footing.

For example, if a child gets grounded on mom’s watch, the same needs to happen under dad’s watch too. Dad mustn’t take the punishment away. Remaining consistent also helps the parents from playing as the fun parent.

6. Parents May Fail to Break in the News Right

Communication is key, especially when you’re delivering the news of the divorce to your kid. If done well, you won’t be at a higher risk of acting out or changes in behavior. Otherwise, your news might cause some mental health problems.

Be gentle when you break the news and often reassure the child that you love him/her. Acknowledge their feelings and be vocal about how you both still love the child. With that said, it’s best to talk with the whole family present.

A kid may not take it well, and that’s okay. Wait for them to be ready to talk about it. When they do, express any worries or fears you have.

7. Parents Divorcing Affect Children’s Future Relationships

Indeed, all parents want only the best for their children. However, messy divorces tend to become counter-intuitive to these intentions.

If the parents don’t handle or explain the divorce well, they may subject their child to a terrible future.

Studies found that these kids are likely to have divorces when they’re older. You notice that children with divorced parents may have problems with commitment. Kids who’ve had to separate from parents of the opposite sex may develop issues dealing with peers of that sex.

8. Kids Don’t Know How to Cope in a Healthy Manner

The psychological effects of divorce can appear in deviant behavior, especially in older children. As we mentioned, you might also notice academic failure where there wasn’t any before. This likely means that your kid doesn’t know how to deal with his/her emotions.

Help them cope better in light of the divorce. Talk to them, acknowledge their feelings, and encourage honesty. If your kid has trouble emoting through words, you can help by asking, “You seem sad. What’s making you sad right now?”

Support Your Kid During Your Divorce

Those are some of the many ways kids feel the impact of their parents’ divorce.

It’s easy for some parents to put their mental and physical health first. We’re here to remind you that your child is the biggest loser in conflicts like these. These are some of the effects of divorce on children’s mental health and physical health.

When a kid sees his parents divorcing, you can bet he’ll have strong parents about it. Don’t ignore them. You want to be there for your child in times of uncertainty like this one.

If you want to see more content like this, check out our other guides. We have more that’ll help you better deal with your child.