She is everything. Almost 6 years on and it still feels surreal. When I think of what we have created, it is

magical. Life before her is a blur. I am besotted with her. I constantly pinch myself, has she really

graced our lives or is this just a serendipitous coming together? As she traverses through school and

life, watching her immerse herself in new experiences and situations is incredible. She is developing

likes and dislikes, behavioural traits, expressions, reactions and mannerisms. She is becoming her own

person, independent and confident. She already seeks to create her own identity, at times refusing help

or instruction. This leaves me fighting my instincts of wanting to give her everything and more. I am

slowly becoming accustomed to the idea of empowering her and within reason, letting her make her

own mistakes. This is hard to do, it goes against the natural desire to protect and smother. But deep

down, I recognise that equipping her to persevere, fight and pursue her dreams, values and desires is

the most I can bequeath.

Testament to my own, I always wanted to be a father. I was extremely lucky in having somebody who

conveyed the art of selfless fatherhood. I can never emulate this but I can and will try to leave her with

same impression I had for a father; somebody who works relentlessly to provide for their loved ones and

has inexorable energy, finding a delicate balance amongst competing priorities. As an economist, the

word equilibrium is of utmost importance; essentially a steady-state position where opposing forces just

cancel out; striking such a balance is notoriously difficult;

Over a decade in professional employment; I have seen cycles of how easily those deemed invaluable

are replaced, those considered of paramount importance are diluted, those previously cast aside are

celebrated, those earlier disregarded come back to reign. This has taught me how easily one’s intrinsic

value changes in society and over time. Fatherhood (or parenthood to be correct) is the role, which

goes above and beyond these oscillations and where you create a legacy like no other. Instilling values,

imparting knowledge, entrusting, empowering – these are all roles that are gifted to you. In the age of

social media, the role is tough, but there is little truly worthwhile and rewarding in life which is obtained

with ease.

Whilst it contributes, far too many of society’s ills are attributed to political upheaval. Parental

responsibility has conveniently become much less of a focus. The divine gift of becoming a parent

should be cherished by those fortunate enough to be in this position. As your child holds your finger,

locks their eyes on you for the first time know how privileged and blessed you are. Nobody in this

universe relies on and depends on you more.

As we enter into 2024, much like this time last year, I am feeling ambivalent. Seeing the remarkable

young lady she is becoming and sharing in her journey makes me nostalgic about my own childhood but

equally reminds me just how rapidly time passes. The effervescence and joy with which she enjoyed the

festive period has come and gone and like this, time continues to ebb and flow, not slowing and

certainly not stopping.

Immeasurable success achieved anywhere is fractional compared to the exhilaration I experience when

I knew of her coming. This was superseded only by the elation when I heard her cry for the first time.

This was instantaneously conquered by the exuberance when I held her in my arms and she wrapped

her whole hand around my index finger. No other achievements in my life, however gratifying and

special in their own right compare to these emotions. It is with this reflection that I know where my

priorities must lie. As we turn into the New Year, my resolution is to ensure that she does not have to

compete for my time nor my attention and for me to be the one that inspires her, when she becomes a

mother.

I wonder if she knows that I actually need her more than she needs me. She makes me a father...for

her, I am fearless. She gives me the capacity to move mountains. Without her, I would be emptier than

an abyss. She is the brightest star in my galaxy and I owe her my unrivalled devotion.

The girl that has given me this honour is Aaruhi.

Guest Author

Jeeger Dodhia is Father to Aditya, husband to Disha and baby loss fundraiser after his son, Aditya, my brave little boy, was stillborn in 2016.

“No man can possibly know what life means, what the world means, what anything means, until he has a child and loves it.” –Lafcadio Hearn