Every man has had that feeling. You met a girl or grew up with her and parted ways. Now she is back in your life, and you can’t stop thinking about her. It could be that girl you have been chasing forever, and now she is stuck in your mind.

There is no other woman in your life like her. Everything about her is amazing and she takes you off balance every time you think of her. Her smile is like the twinkling of the finest diamonds, and her laughter sounds like the purest crystal.

You have never heard a voice like hers anywhere else. And when you set your eyes on her, your heart skips a beat.

Getting her is your wildest dream. She could make you happy for the rest of your life. Perhaps she is the one you wish to marry.

There is nothing you wouldn’t do for her. Yet, you can’t get her.

If you’re newly divorced and back on the dating scene for the first time in years (or even decades), the power of this feeling can hit like a ton of bricks. You may have entirely forgotten what it felt like to feel this way – or how easy it is to end up obsessed with a girl who isn’t quite reciprocating.

So, why is she stuck in your mind? How is it that you can’t stop thinking about her no matter what you do?

In this post, I will explain why it is like that. By the end, you will know whether the chase is worth it or if you need to meet other girls.

 

Four Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her

 

Many face serious challenges chasing a woman. In some cases, it becomes so serious that it turns ugly; that is when the man becomes obsessed with a woman.  Fantasizing about her with you becomes your daily chore. 

I will give you four reasons why this is happening to you. There are other reasons, but these four sum them up.

 

1. The Special Girl

 

There may be many other women in your life right now. However, there is this one particular person who is very special. You will do anything to impress her.

But what if you don’t truly like her? Maybe it’s the suspense of wondering whether or not you will get her that fuels you.

My son has been buying a certain toy series whenever he gets some money. So, it got me wondering, what’s so special about these toys? So, I asked him.

He told me a box of these toys is always a mystery. You can never tell which toys are in the box you get. Inside was a pamphlet showing all the possible toys one could get, but there were very few in each box, mostly those that didn’t interest him.

Therefore, he kept buying, hoping to get one of his favorites. Sometimes, he could be lucky; other times, it was a disappointment.

This is an example of what keeps many of us up at night. We just want to get them.

It’s the same powerful, obsessive feeling that makes a woman stick in your mind. It seems to come from the need to find something you want or can’t get. It also comes when you begin to struggle to get it without success, or you want it so bad that you keep trying, you get so obsessed that nothing else seems to make sense; you just want it.

Guys seem to have the same feelings about women. They find that one girl they want, and no one else matters to them.

You could be facing the same dilemma. You maybe be thinking, “I can’t get her out of my head!” It’s not your fault, but there is always something you can do to stop the obsession. I will talk about this later. But for now, just know that this woman might not be as special as you think in the long run.

I am not saying meeting someone special is wrong. Every man needs a woman he can love and care for (at least those who still believe in love!). However, you don’t have to let that feeling control you. Because when you do, you easily become a slave to the woman – or at least, to your vision of her.

 

2. The “What If” Effect

 

When I was growing up, there was this one girl in my class who I liked. However, it was difficult for me to ask her to become my girlfriend.

I always wondered what would happen if I asked and she rejected me. What if I should have done it earlier because someone else already did? And what if she never felt the same about me?

These questions kept bothering me every time I gathered the courage to speak to her. But the more I feared, the more I wanted to get her. It became my biggest obsession.

Things changed when I finally did it and she came through. All along, I had been afraid, asking myself the wrong questions when all I needed to do was confirm with her. My worries and obsession would have magnified had I not taken that chance.

Unfortunately, these are the same questions that bother most men today. The fear of rejection becomes stronger as you grow up. Not knowing whether you will ever heal from it can increase your obsession, making you want things you sometimes can’t get or miss the opportunity to get them.

So, instead of wondering what might have happened for the rest of your life, I suggest you get on with it. If she is haunting your dreams, it’s because you think she is special and unreachable. It’s better to know it now than to keep wondering.

 

3. The Power of Obsession

 

I have watched several stalker movies in my life and most of them feature men as stalkers. This happens when a woman has rejected the man, but he is too deep into her that he can’t let her go. Sometimes it’s not about love; it’s just the desire to prove to oneself that one has the power to conquer a woman.

The dictionary defines an obsession as “the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, or desire.”

When directed to the right course, obsession is not necessarily a bad thing. On the contrary, it’s a force that has pushed many people to succeed in business, art, science, and other spheres of life. It can improve your life.

However, obsession with a woman is something else. If you can’t stop thinking about her, no matter how much you try, it becomes a significant concern.

Obsession only seems romantic to the person when the feeling is mutual and the person is charming, smooth, and attractive.

In my experience, most charming, smooth, and suave men never get obsessed. Most girls get obsessed with guys who are the opposite of these characters. So, most guys get obsessed because the girl does not feel the same way, and she seems unreachable.

You need to start thinking differently. If that one girl you think is so special is stuck in your mind, it could be time to meet other girls. If you have this idea stuck in your head about that one special girl, you won’t be able to do anything else. You have to have her.

The funny thing about the girl you are obsessed with is that you will never do anything with her. You will spend your time and energy talking to her, spending time with her, taking her on a date, making love in a bed of roses, and never leaving her side—but you do all these things in your mind. You don’t even try to approach her in real life.

 

4. The Power of Dreaming

 

Some men sleep at night, dream about something, wake up in the morning, and the dream is gone. They continue with their lives without thinking about it. Or they laugh about it with friends and family, closing the chapter.

And some men dream during the day. Those are dangerous dreams.

The only thing on their minds is how they can make their dreams come true one day. And it’s all about that one girl. This expanding fluctuation creeps up like a slow-developing fluctuation. It begins like a hint or a whisper, thinking of her now and then. But with time, the idea grows bigger and fatter. Soon, you realize all you want is to get her and make yours.

She is not your center of existence. The obsession begins to consume you from the inside.

This is what happens when you are obsessed with a girl. Your dreams become your destruction. But the good thing about such dreams is that you can do something about them. It might seem hard at first, but you can take control of your emotions and keep them in line before they turn into something ugly.

 

You Still Can’t Stop Thinking About Her. Should You?

 

Although women may enjoy flirting, most would be terrified of the idea of a man obsessing over them. This is because it usually does not end well for both parties.

So, think about this. If you can’t stop thinking about her because she is already yours and you are together, good for you. Keep the feeling going and make your girl feel special.

But if you can’t get her out of your mind and yet she is too far to reach, you should stop. I have talked to many guys who wanted to get that one special girl but have failed.

The problem is not always that the girl is hard to catch; it’s often the man’s obsession with “owning.” The risk of getting highly emotionally invested with such a woman is that you will always trip over those emotions. You will always make a mistake and push her away even further.

Therefore, get help and look for ways to get her out of your mind. Speak to someone, meet other girls, or do something else that occupies your mind.