By Jim Mckenzie

In today’s world you need to be ready for when stress’ launches its next surprise attack. This means we're all spending way too much time in “fight or flight” mode. And it's taking a toll on our bodies through weakened immune systems, high blood pressure, heart disease, low testosterone and the dreaded erectile dysfunction(E.D.) These are all conditions that shorten our lives and lower the quality of what's left. 

There are lots of strategies for managing stress, but when stress blindsides us with no time to prepare, we don't need a strategy. We need quick, practical steps we can take NOW that works fast and can be done anywhere.

I think we are all aware of the symptoms of stress in others - but we're not always necessarily sure whether it's affecting us. Sometimes it's your instant reaction to what the people around you do and say that gives you a read on it.

Sometimes your body just tells you that something is wrong…  

Stress Symptoms

If you have felt any of the following, it's probably safe to say that you are already dealing with some form of stress: 

•  You are overly cranky and have rapid mood swings 

•  You find it difficult to get a good night's rest 

•  You are on a weight roller-coaster 

•  You find yourself more "on edge" 

• You feel as if the world is crashing down on top of you 

• You have persistent illness, aches and pains, headaches 

• You have little or no sex drive

…wait a minute, whaaat?

  [‘Record scratch”]

 

That should have got your attention, yes? Time to get real!

Stress is a major cause of the underlying psychological conditions that create problems for men in the bedroom, and as men are notoriously bad at sharing emotional issues – not necessarily because they are wired that way, but because until very recent times, men were told to ‘man up and shut up”. This attitude can lead men to suffer from Erectile Dysfunction, the condition where a man cannot get or keep a firm enough erection for sexual intercourse. As many as 40% of men under the age of 40 years are affected by the condition, and use medications like Sildenafil for treatment.

Whilst medications can be a quick fix, the ‘bedroom thing’ is only one aspect of your life, and the other issues caused by stress need proactive action and active readjustment of your approach, if you are going to regain a happy and healthy lifestyle.  

So let’s dive into this quick start guide to de-stressing yourself, and moving towards your best possible dad-life now!   

 

Dad Stress-Reducing Tips  

1.) Stick To A Normal Schedule 

          This is important to ALL family members, not just you. Everyone needs to have a regular routine, especially children. We thrive on it.

You need to stick to having really as regular schedule as much as you can (and I've got seven children). 

Well, you know the fact is that everyone needs a schedule and in fact the children depend on doing that and if you divert it can cause what additional stress on you.

From my experience is even if OK, you haven't got the kids to bed at 8 o'clock. OK, it's 10 o'clock, you’ve only just finished all their baths. You're thinking “oh boy. They're going to be so tired in the morning…”  

If this happens, I just stick to the same routine with my children. We have a little chat. We don't do bedtime stories. We talk about the day.

We just go were going through exactly the same routine that we do every night, and don’t worry about the time.

  

2.) Express Your Feelings

          Feeling angry? Discussing what you are feeling instead of what you're feeling towards a person who's upset you is probably the best way to deal with it. Whether it's your wife, whether it's your children, whether it's a work colleague, you have to really just find out what's wrong with you and express it.

Let others know just how you are feeling by sharing it with them in a positive way. If things are bothering you, tell someone about it. But you should do it in a manner that doesn't put undue stress upon them! Having a family "chat session" about what they are feeling can not only strengthen the bonds between you, but also alleviate some of the stress.

It's really important not to bottle things up and be productive in a way to channel your feelings. It's not psychobabble. It's true and real – 12 men per day are committing suicide in the UK because of their mental distress.

Don't expect immediate results though. Things take time. But taking positive steps towards understanding through sharing your feelings is the right direction for you to take.

  

3.) Ask For Help = Team Building         

          It's not as devastating as you might think :-) Actually, it's quite easy! If you are having a tough time shouldering all the responsibilities that are upon you, just ask someone to help you with them. You could do this by dividing up different tasks that are on your list of things to get done.  

Of course you'll want to be sure that whatever task you assign to a family member is "age appropriate". Meaning you don't want to give your 10- year old the job of changing electrical outlets! So make sure that you delegate these responsibilities as they fit the laborer!  

It can be frustrating sometimes, especially when you're at home, you're trying to get stuff done quickly, and you don’t feel you have the time or patience to ask people for help. 

It's amazing how helpful your children will be if you take that time to just step outside yourself, and use your need for help as a teaching moment.

  

4.) Know Your Limits And Abide By Them 

          You should never "bite off more than you can chew". This applies to not only what you can get done during the weekends, but also what you can afford to spend. Don't over-extend yourself or your finances.

Have you ever done something like this when trying to tidy up your garage?

You throw everything out to the driveway and before you know it's five o'clock in the afternoon and you know got to feed the kids and you have to get all that stuff back in…and it’s getting dark.

Because you are in a hurry, you just shove everything back in - you and it looks worse and is in more of a mess than when you started

So try and tackle one small task at time at home, and if your wife and children are helping you just try make it into a little team-building experience!

Limiting what you can realistically do will help reduce the stresses you put on yourself. 

  

5.) Don't Strive For "Perfection" 

          Nobody's perfect. And nothing can BE perfect, so don't expect that! Do what you can and be happy knowing that you did all you could to make it a wonderful holiday. For example, trying to create a "picture perfect" holiday gathering can really "sock it to you" in the stress department. Worrying about what you CANNOT do could lead to very problematic health issues. And you DON'T want that!  

The worst part of this is that it can all be avoided by thinking realistically about what CAN be done and not what you feel NEEDS to be accomplished. There is a significant difference between those two.  

Make a promise to yourself that you will only do what you can without placing too much pressure on yourself to get it all done.

A good thing to keep in mind is that YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF.  

Try not to let the actions of others within your circle of family, work colleagues or friends discourage you from keeping balance. People will be who they are and do what they do and you should learn to let go of any personal expectations of how they might perceive you. It won't do anything but add to your own stress levels.

 

And So…

There you have it, these are all small quick changes that you can implement right now in order to get in front of your stress roller-coaster, now! If you’d like to share your stress busting tips with the Everything For Dads community, please share them below of reach out to the team here via our contact page

About The Author

Jim Mckenzie is a lifestyle coach, podcaster, writer and the founder of Everything For Dads . Most proudly of all he is a devoted husband and father to 7 homebirthed and homeschooling children.