Having a bit of an identity crisis when you’ve become a parent can be a very real thing. Often it is something that is thought only mothers go through, as they can experience many physical changes themselves, however, it is something that dads can experience too. From being someone who was living quite a care-free world to now needing to provide everything for this little person, can be a big deal and can take its toll, both mentally and physically. 

What causes a loss of identity after becoming a parent?

There can be a great sense of identity as you are now a parent and that is part of who you are forever. But there are other things when it comes to careers, lifestyle choices, friendships, and relationships that can all change. It doesn’t mean that you are not in control of your life anymore, but there is a shift in responsibility that can take some getting used to.

Many new parents can feel like they have lost time for things like hobbies and self-care, as well as any kind of social life as a baby can be so demanding and take over your life. With careers and finances it can all change, as you will now have more to pay for with a little one, but possibly have a reduced income if you work part-time or one of the partners stays at home with the baby. All of these feelings can lead to new parents feeling low or even a bit guilty, especially if the baby was much longed for. 

The good news is that there are things that you can do to feel more like yourself again, and it is also important to note that you’re not alone in feeling this way. It can be common, so do share how you feel with others and you can help each other. 

Change what you can change

There will be some things in your new life that will be out of your control, such as friends who don’t understand the demands of a little one and who neglect to see you. However, there are many things in your life that you can control. You can plan your time with your partner to make sure that you both have time for hobbies, self-care, friends, and other social events. You could change something physically about yourself if that helps you to get back to feeling more like yourself again. A new haircut or a new piercing, such as a labret ring for any style, could be all you need to have a fresh boost. Don’t stress about what you can’t change but if there are things you can change, then go for it.

Don’t compare yourself

One thing that you shouldn’t do is to compare yourself to other new parents. No matter how well put together they may seem, it won’t be the case. You should also make sure that you don’t compare yourself to the previous version of yourself. You might look a bit different now and feel more tired, but you can still do things that gave you joy before.