The death of a loved one is brutal for anyone, and it's equally one of the most challenging discussions to have with anyone. Death can be a devastating period for children. Unfortunately, most parents disclose the details about death to the children when it happens. However, it's good to share your beliefs and experiences with your children early enough as it helps them prepare and deal with loss when it finally happens. 

Children deal with loss a bit differently from adults. How they deal with loss is also dependent on things like age, closeness to the person who died, and the support they receive afterward. Avoiding this subject or trying to sugarcoat it to protect your kid may end up doing more harm than good.  

Don't be alarmed if your kids react in specific ways, as these are normal responses to grief. In due time, they will revert to their old behavior before the time of loss.

 

Different Ways That Children Respond to Death

●     Excessive anger and irritability

●     Loss of appetite

●     Change in sleeping habits

●     Fear of being alone

●     Suicidal thoughts

●     Shock, denial, and confusion

●     Reverting to outgrown behaviors like bedwetting or thumb-sucking

●     Inventing games about dying

●     Loss of concentration

●     Physical complaints like headaches and stomachaches 

Here are some guidelines from an experienced Texas life insurance attorney to keep in mind in helping a child deal with loss:

 

1.   Maintain Normal Day-to-Day Routine

Grief does take time. However, children need to understand that life must go on despite the current loss.

 

2.   Be Direct

Never use euphemisms when discussing death. Don't use phrases like "went to sleep," "gone," "we lost him." Using such fuzzy language will leave them even more confused, anxious, and scared.

 

3.   Let Them Speak Their Emotions

Always encourage your kids to say what they're feeling and thinking. Also, it's healthy to express your feelings as it helps them open up quickly to you. However, don't let them see your sadness often as they may begin to worry about you.

 

4.   Talk About the Expected Rituals

Enlighten your child ahead of time on what to expect, like the memorial services, body viewing, and the funeral. You can also share your family beliefs about what happens to a person's spirit after death. You can also create specific special remembrance activities or rituals together for the future.

 

5.   Give Some Roles to Your Child

Small but active roles can help your kids know the typical situation during a burial. Alternatively, you can let them decide on the things they can participate in and how. Some of these activities may include: picking a song to be played or reading a poem.

 

6.   Share Happy Memories of the Deceased

You can encourage your child to write down or draw pictures of their loved one. While doing this, mention the deceased by name. Doing this helps them overcome grief quickly and activate positivity.

 

7.   Give Them Comfort and Reassurance

Don't act irritable to their emotions and if you notice sadness or irritability. Ask them openly about their feelings and listen and also give them a reassurance hug. Let them know that grief can take time, but it eventually fades off. However, if your kid has continuous trouble sleeping or fear, enroll them in support groups or for counseling to give more support.

 

8.   Give Your Child Time to Grieve and Heal

Grief is a process, and healing doesn't necessarily mean forgetting about the loved one. Have constant conversations to see how your child is doing and feeling. In the long run, good healing means letting good memories of our loved ones stir good thoughts as life continues.

 

9.   Have a Distractive Happy Activity

It's good to focus on emotional support but don't dwell on sad feelings. After talking and listening to your child, shift to another activity that will help your child feel better. These activities may involve cooking, playing, making art, or going somewhere together.

 

Parenting is a continuous learning process. The healing process does take time after the loss of a loved one. However, you can get through this together.  

 

About the Author

Veronica Baxter is a writer, blogger, and legal assistant who works for successful Texas life insurance attorney Chad Boonswang.