Children are inquisitive and are likely to ask about people’s differences when they notice them. As a dad, the way you handle these questions matters. Because we are all unique and want to be accepted, we know how much it hurts to experience discrimination. Knowing how to appreciate — rather than fear — diversity begins in childhood, often through the influence of parents. By making the effort to teach your kids about inclusion now, you can set them up for a lifetime of kindness and community. 

Here’s a look at several strategies that can help you teach your children about the value of differences and diversity: 

1.      Model an inclusive mindset. The first and most impactful way to teach your children is through example. Ask yourself: How do you act around people who come from other cultures or ethnic backgrounds? What behaviors do you model around people with disabilities? Do your children see you engaging with those who hae different ideas, without anger or offense? Show your children what to do by how you live.

2.      Diversify your community. As a parent, you can create opportunities for your children to meet people who are different from them, whether through books, cultural fairs, museums, concerts, play groups, your choice of school or other settings. Simply being exposed to people of diverse ages, races, religions, interests, etc. can help foster acceptance.

Church programs for children are another way that provides fun ways to learn valuable lessons about diversity. By participating in activities and learning about other cultures, children can develop a better understanding and appreciation for diversity as well as for their own culture and heritage. By providing opportunities for children to interact with others from different backgrounds, the church program can help to foster a sense of community and belonging. In addition, the church program can help children to develop skills such as communication, teamwork, and leadership.

3.      Stretch outside your norms. Just because your family has certain norms doesn’t mean you can’t deviate from them occasionally. Exposing your kids to a new kind of cuisine or a different culture’s celebrations can foster broader appreciation for traditions that other people enjoy.

4.      Always respond to their questions. Sometimes your child will ask about a question that stumps you. Maybe you don’t know how to respond, so you don’t. In general, this communicates that they shouldn’t talk about differences — the opposite message you want to give. Instead, when you aren’t immediately sure what to say, be open about it. You can say you need to think about the question a little bit, or you could offer to talk about it later and then bring it up when you’re ready.

5.      Listen carefully. If you aren’t sure what your child is asking, feel free to ask follow-up questions to clarify. Knowing what your child is curious about can help you address that concern rather than muddy the issue with more confusion.

6.      Take your child’s age and personality into account. Typically, children are asking questions to gather information about their environments, wanting to understand how differences relate to them. They usually aren’t acting out of bias when they notice someone’s hair, weight or disability; they wanting to make sense of it. With this mind, don’t feel you have to make a long speech in response; simply and honestly answer your child, communicating the idea that differences are good.

7.      Never ignore discriminatory remarks. Whether you’re around someone who makes racist jokes, or you hear name-calling on a television program, don’t let these kinds of remarks go by without intervening. Consistently communicate to your child that this sort of language is hurtful and wrong. Likewise, avoid stereotypes about certain genders, ethnic backgrounds, political parties or other differences: Tell your children that broad-brushing people over a single issue does not honor them as full, complex individuals.

8.      Celebrate all you have in common with others. While you want your children to learn that differences are wonderful, you should also emphasize the humanity that everyone has in common. Your neighbor who comes from another country may garden just like your family does. The classmate who has a wheelchair may have a puppy just like your child’s. The more traits you can find in common, the more natural it becomes to feel empathy and compassion about your differences. 

Whether your kids are in preschool, high school or anywhere in between, you have a lot of influence to guide them toward a more welcoming, inclusive mindset in the world. Use the tips above to foster an open dialogue about diversity, and strive to raise kids who appreciate all people. 

Share your experience about raising inclusive kids — leave a comment below!

AUTHOR BIO: Kids Car Donations is a national organization that accepts vehicle donations to better the lives of children. The organization partners with a number of well-known nonprofits serving children and teens who are confronted with physical, mental and emotional challenges to provide the care they need.