Neurodiversity, as a definition, looks at the differences in a child's brain as normal rather than negative. Children who are neurodiverse interact with and experience the world in unique ways. At times this creates a challenge, but it can also present a fantastic opportunity for creative problem solving – one that has the power to benefit all of society. 

If your child has recently been diagnosed as neurodiverse or if you're simply in need of a bit of inspiration, here are four things parents of neurodiverse kids want you to know.

1.  Look Beyond the Diagnosis

Your child is much more than a diagnosis – they are a unique blend of personality and interests.  No Individualized Education Plan (IEP) nor any label for that matter can change this fact on a fundamental level. 

When your child is diagnosed as neurodiverse, you may feel overwhelmed or worried, which is quite normal. But know that you are not alone, and help is available for your child and you. Start by getting your child into therapy and finding a support group in Self advocacy IEP goals for parents. While spending time with your child, try focusing on their strengths. Observe their passions, see what they can accomplish, and take time to learn from them. 

Most importantly of all, be aware of you’re child’s strengths. When raising a neurodiverse child, it's easy to focus on what your child can’t do. Instead, consider what they can achieve and help them find paths forward to grow.

2.  Question What You Know About Parenting

Parenting a neurodiverse child necessitates creativity and meeting your child where they're at. If you operate on a standard parenting style, or perhaps even an approach that worked on a sibling, you could find it doesn’t work in this context. 

For instance, maybe your oldest child could easily transition from lunch down to a nap, while your youngest always seems to resist a nap after lunch. After being cooped up in a booster seat, try offering them a period of extended play to help them release their energy. Go to a playground to let your child play. By the time you return, they will be ready for their nap. 

When you practice flexibility and observe your neurodiverse child and how they respond to your prompting, you’ll soon learn what sort of parenting style works best for them.

3.  Practice Patience With Your Child and Yourself

Practicing patience with your child, let alone yourself, can be a challenging task. However, that doesn’t mean you should give up before you’ve started. 

Try not to beat yourself up when you can’t accomplish all you set out to do during one day. The same goes for your child – if you ask them to attend to a task and they lack the attention, work with them to keep their focus, all while doing your best to keep your patience. If you happen to lose your cool, it's not the end of the world. Turn it into a learning opportunity for your child by explaining what happened. Even parents make mistakes sometimes too. 

For your well-being, try to avoid language like “should” and “have to,” as it can conjure regret and can limit your conversations as well as your thoughts. Instead, utilize "could," "try," and "do our best." You'll find these phrases have a more encouraging tone when you use them in your thought patterns. Additionally, they will also give a more positive air to the conversations you have with your child. Since you have a neurodiverse child, you'll need to expand their options to meet their needs best. Likewise, you'll also wish to expand your vocabulary.

4.  Advocate and Teach Your Child to Self-Advocate

After a neurodiverse diagnosis, there’s no doubt you’re going to want to jump in to help your child immediately. You're their parent – their most prominent advocate. Ensure you help your teacher, school, psychologist, or therapy provider set realistic goals for your child by being part of this process. 

If you find that one of your providers is no longer meeting your needs, don't hesitate to speak up and make a change. Explain the problem; there’s likely an easy solution. If not, you can change providers to ensure your child is receiving the best care possible. 

Building self-advocacy in children is crucial because it gives them the tools to speak up for themselves and exercise responsibility for their actions. You can begin to teach your child to be a self-advocate when they are very young. While at day care or playing with friends, encourage your child to ask other children for a toy when they want a turn to play. Have them express why they want to play, saying: "Can I use that blue LEGO? I need it to build a dinosaur.” This example illustrates a child expressing their needs and wishes, which is a more complex form of self advocation. 

When it appears that your child is struggling but not in danger, allow your child to figure things out independently. This can be especially difficult for parents of neurodiverse children who want to make everything better for their kids. However, suppose you continue to jump in every time your child faces a challenge. In that case, they will never have an opportunity to overcome hurdles independently and experience the growth and surge of confidence that accompanies it. 

For instance, allow your child to face a challenge like dressing themselves in the morning and be prepared to help if they need it. In time, they'll conquer dressing and move on to the next challenge.

Neurodiverse Is Normal

Your child is neurodiverse, normal, and downright incredible! But you already knew that, didn't you? Focus on your child's strengths, look beyond their diagnosis, and teach them to self-advocate and you will help your child as they continue to develop throughout the years.