Did you know that we have about 70,000 conscious and unconscious thoughts a day?!

It goes without saying that your words and thoughts can and do dictate how you feel at any given moment: happy, sad, inspired, stressed- you get my point.

On my way back from economic disaster after the Global economic collapse in 2008, going from having a financial worth of 3.2 million dollars, my wife heavily pregnant with our 5th baby, and having nothing but $5 in my pocket, my mind, my thoughts, my very self fell apart.

The shock, pain, fear and guilt that I felt can never be truly described. It was gut-wrenching.

I felt that I had failed my precious family, and put them in such a position of vulnerability.

I was devastated, and this just put me into a terrible frame of mind. I felt insecure, stuck, stressed, out-of-control and so deeply, deeply angry at myself.

Weeks went by, I just couldn’t find the gear to get myself out of this negative mindset-- and most importantly, in hindsight I didn’t feel I deserved too.

For me, well I was lucky, I had married the most wonderful human being- resilient, humble, gracious and spirited, and who NEVER gave up on believing that you have the power to change your life, to turn struggles into strength.

Not once did she blame me, not once did she say I was less of a man, less of a husband, less of a father.

For every day that I lived that trauma, feeling a fraud to my 4 small children, and my new born baby, my wife told me to change my thoughts, and to change my words-- because our can elevate us or weaken us.

She told me to forgive myself, to stop being so hard on myself, and to in the moment, to be present.

One morning I woke up. I thought of those words, and I had a realization, that I had been trying to push forward to make things happen with the passionate intention of trying to dig us out of this terrible situation.

But this concept of ‘pushing forward’ really was weakening my power, instead it was causing anxiousness and stress.

Because here’s the thing:

Our Thoughts And Words Can Elevate Us Or Weaken Us

Our words, and the energy backing up those words, affect how we feel. So it’s important that we become mindful of the words we use. Because as we repeat the words, we create momentum around the energy they carry.

Instead I resolved to from then on take action, but from a place of inspiration, not a place of control, and I also resolved to reframe her thoughts and words so they made me, and my family, feel empowered, inspired and joyful.

From that day on my life changed for the better, better even than before I had lost my financial security (and let me be clear, I didn’t get straight back on feet, I still had a long, hard, and very uncomfortable road ahead of me)…

… I had finally freed myself from the oppression of daily feelings of overwhelming stress, and I had completely broken-free from my negative mindset and poor habits- despite the fact that I hadn’t yet changed my, and my family’s, stressful life conditions and environment.

My relationship with my wife and my children have deepened in a way that I couldn’t have even thought possible, I have healed wounds that initially I didn’t even really know that I had, and then have let go to visceral anger that I was carrying, and have forgiven myself (as well as stopped beating myself up mentally) and broken the cycle of ‘could have, would have, should have’.

So back to those 70,000 conscious and unconscious thoughts a day- it’s easy to feel like they’re beyond our control…

But we DO have the ability to consciously step back, interrupt the stream of thoughts, and ask ourselves, “What am I thinking right now? How do these thoughts and words make me feel?”

Today then I want you to witness how your words make you feel

When you notice that you’re using low-vibration words that don’t feel good, whether in a conversation or in your own mind, just ask yourself W.A.I.T.

Take a breath and then reframe your words or thoughts. You can even stop yourself mid-sentence and say something like, “You know what, these words are dragging down my energy.” Then reframe or change the subject.

Now let’s take this a step further to help you make permanent change. Be fearlessly honest with yourself.

*ACTION STEPS*

ACTION STEP | ONE

Take a moment and think about the subconscious thoughts running through your mind each day.

What do you find are the words that drain your energy the most?

Which are the words that most affect the people in your life, positively or negatively?

Do you find those words are isolating you from the world around you?

Which words or feelings are the ones which hold you back from connecting with the world with confidence?

ACTION STEP | TWO

Now think about how you could use more empowering words.

It is not just the words you use – its about changing the way the words you use make you feel.

Change your words to ones which you believe in, not what you think you or those around you need to hear 

Choose words that will lift you and those around you – make a positive choice

ACTION STEP | THREE

Practice until you feel almost an instinctual reaction to find the words that will help you to break down the walls you may feel. Your mindset is a daily practice and take the time to make the choice to bask in your new positivity and your energy will flow.

PRACTICE THIS MINDSET FOR YOUR MOST DIFFICULT SITUATIONS

For some of you this may be pretty easy, because you might be fortunate enough that your greatest struggle is that you don’t like your boss, or maybe your most difficult situation is that you just aren’t happy with the way that you’ve been treating yourself.

But for some of you dads you may be struggling with a painful disease. Or maybe your marriage is ending, or you’re struggling with a fear of financial insecurity that keeps you up at night.
Even in the most dire circumstances, when you feel the weakest, most afraid and most misaligned with life, you have the capacity to reorganize your intentions and reorganize your life. Particularly when you’re in your darkest moment, this is always a positive opportunity to find peace, and then move forward.

MAKE IT A HABIT

In time this will become second nature, but right now you have to develop the habit. Be patient with yourself. It’s a journey of talking yourself out of fear on a moment-to-moment basis. It’s such a simple concept, but it’s not that simple to stay committed to. Most people don’t.

You’ll fall back into fear all the time, so don’t beat yourself up for it. Your goal isn’t to never feel fear. Your goal is to come back to the light and positivity as soon as possible.

By simply doing this you will begin to create momentum around positivity, joy and happiness, and you’ll begin to notice the incredible positive, energetic change that will be reflected back to you.

About

Jim Mckenzie is the founder and CEO of Everything For Dads. Check out his Head To Toe Wellness For Dads online course