3 Ways To Prepare Your Child For A Visit To A Sick Grandparent

One of the hardest things in life to experience is coping with an ailing parent. There is so much to handle emotionally, mentally, and physically - from finding a suitable hospital or assisted living facility to navigating feelings of hopelessness and fear. Add to that the stress of preparing a child for a visit and it can be overwhelming. 

Sometimes, children want to visit their sick relatives but often do not understand what exactly is happening. Rather than denying them visits or letting them go in unprepared, try these three tips to help your child understand and cope with a sick grandparent.

Broach the Subject Gently

The first step is to start the conversation properly with your child. Be honest and open while still keeping the conversation age-appropriate. 

If your parent has cancer, for example, you might say something like, "Grandma is very sick right now and the doctors are helping her to feel better." Or, if your parent has Alzheimer's disease, you can explain that "Grandpa isn't the same as he used to be because his brain is working differently now. But he still loves you very much." 

No matter what the illness is, make sure to reiterate that it is not contagious( if it's really not) and that there is nothing your child can do to make the grandparent better.

Describe Changes

Depending on the severity of the illness, there may be some changes in your relative that your child will see. If your parent is bedridden, uses a wheelchair, or has lost a lot of weight, explain these changes before your child visits. 

You might say something like, "Grandma is very weak right now so she needs to stay in bed." If there are any changes in appearance, such as a loss of hair due to chemotherapy, make sure to mention it as well. It's better to prepare your child for what they will see so that they are not surprised or scared when they do visit.

Help Them Express Their Feelings

After you have talked about the illness and prepared your child for any changes they may see, it's important to help them express their feelings. This can be done in several ways depending on your child's age and personality. 

Some children may want to talk about their feelings and ask questions, while others may express themselves through art or play. 

For example, you could encourage your child to draw a picture or write a letter for their grandparent. You could even try a pretend play setting where they act out their feelings with dolls or stuffed animals. 

Visiting a sick grandparent can be a difficult experience for both you and your child. But by preparing ahead of time and talking about what to expect, you can help make it a little bit easier.