Becoming A Dad In Your 40s And Owning It!
As more and more of us are putting off having children for later on in life, we’re able to bring a whole new set of experiences to childrearing. Whereas in the past, dads grew up a little closer to the generational gap that our children are in, now there are increasingly larger periods of time between us and our children.
This can seem a little daunting as you think about how you can remain “relevant” to your children and apply your life experience in a manner that is understood and still relatable. You’re also going to face different challenges to your fatherhood style than what you would’ve been a younger dad. So let’s look at just a few of the reasons why you’re going to be, “boss dad” in your 40s.
FIRST UP, WHY WAIT UNTIL YOU’RE 40?
There are several reasons why men put off having children until their 40s. It may be as “simple” as not having found the right partner yet or you could be the kind of guy that was rocking at loving his single, carefree life. The fact is nowadays money matters and if you’re planning on being a single dad, then this is going to factor hugely in your decision-making. The really good news is that becoming a dad in your 40s brings some pretty cool benefits with it. You’ll be more financially stable, your rebellious years are (should be) behind you and you can offer loads of life experience from the get-go.
On the flip side, you’re also going to have to work harder at being able to understand the generational differences that you’re going to experience and this is true no matter how “cool” a daddy you are. Genetics has also favored men for later-stage parenting. We tend to be able to age a little better than women, but if you are going to be a dad as you enter your 40s, you need to take a little better care of yourself than what you would have had to if you were younger.
You’re going to face hormonal changes as a man and this is going to affect you in ways you might not have been used to. Decreasing levels of testosterone won’t just have an impact at the gym, you could also experience decreasing levels of sex drive and libido with lower semen quantity and quality too, so if you want to be the biological parent to your child, then you may have to consider testosterone replacement therapy or “TRT”.
MATURITY MATTERS
So while your body starts to prepare itself for (eek!) middle age, you’re also going to have some awesome benefits too. Being a dad in your 40s means that you are so much better equipped than younger dads to deal with “life” better. You’re probably also in a strong financial position relative to your younger brethren and you know how to make better decisions too.
“Firstly, I am far wiser and more emotionally mature than I would have been if I had kids when I was younger. This has given me the ability to provide more support to my partner and be more emotionally aware of both her and the baby’s needs.” - Scott, became a dad at 41
BECOMING UNAPOLOGETICALLY “YOU”
One of the best reasons that your 40s become the decade that stages the rest of your best life, is that you’re finally in that awesome position of not giving a second thought about what other people think about you and you’re far more inclined to be more self-accepting than those unsure and often angst-filled years in your 20s.
This translates to more stability and emotional security which makes raising a child far easier on your psyche than it is for younger parents. Now it is also true that being a younger dad means you have more overall energy to pursue more energetic activities, you’re also still figuring out what makes you tick and 40 is hardly the bronze age. You’re still able to do everything that your younger counterparts can do and you can do them with greater voracity - you have more money. After all, 40, is the new 30. There are clearly pros and cons to becoming a dad in your 40s and you should give all factors some solid thought - but that’s also true at any age and just like any other major life decision, you’ll do well to consult others that have done what you’re about to.
LOVE, DAD
Your dad is the best possible resource here and it doesn’t matter if he was a young father or become one like you’re about to, he is still equipped with all the life experience you haven’t even thought about yet, so this is as good a time as any to pick up the phone.