When we talk about single parents, we usually mean unmarried women who are raising a child. But do remember that the word “parent” refers to both genders and there are many single men who have embraced parenthood. If you look at the celebrity community, we have Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, James Marsden, Ricky Martin (the list goes on).

While many of them had babies from their previous relationship, there are single fathers who chose to start their family without having a spouse, through surrogacy. To help the dads-to-be who are planning to pursue surrogacy, we discuss the complete process here.

The Commitment

It’s important that you think through the commitment of being a single father surrogacy itself is a demanding journey and you should have a support system that you can lean onto during the hard times.

Ask yourself:

● Am I ready to afford the expenses of surrogacy and raising a child?

● Am I emotionally ready to bond with my child?

● What if I need help with babysitting or emotional support? Who shall I turn to?

● If something happens to me, who will be the legal guardian of the child?

Find an Agency

You can easily search on Google for ‘surrogacy agencies’ and get tons of surrogacy agency recommendations but it is ultimately your responsibility to partner with the right one. Remember, the agency that called you back first may not be the best one.

Consider the following criteria and research into the agencies:

● Reputation and expertise

● Values

● Services

● Surrogate screening

● Arranging meeting with your potential match

● Transparency about fees

● Communication

● Legal assistance and services

● Level of support

● Doctors and staff

● Do they offer any free consultation

You do have the option to opt independent surrogacy but then you will be solely responsible for arranging everything on your own.

Select a Surrogate Mother

Once you have found an agency, it’s time to complete the most important part of surrogacy - finding the right surrogate mother. The gestational carrier will be carrying your baby, so it’s essential that both you and the surrogate feel comfortable being partnered with each other. We advise looking into the following qualities of a surrogate:

● Aged between 21 to 37 years

● Trustworthy, responsible and committed

● Is fully aware of the potential risks

● Is a resident of a surrogacy-friendly state

● Be in excellent health with at least one successful pregnancy

● A non-smoker with no records of drugs abuse

● Lives in a healthy home environment

● Is influenced by the desire to help someone become a parent

● Emotionally and mentally healthy

Remember that a surrogate might have some questions about your single parenthood. So, it’s important you address her questions so that she is comfortable knowing you can be an amazing single dad.

Find a Surrogacy Clinic

An IVF surrogacy clinic is where the medical processes of the surrogacy will take place. Chances are, your surrogacy agency has some partnering fertility clinics which they can recommend to you.
Still, do some research on your own and look for the following criteria:

● Location

● Legal

● Surrogacy for gay and single parents

● Single or unmarried couple

● Same-sex couple

● Financials

● Medical expertise

● Available treatment options

● IVF

● Cryopreservation

Find an Egg Donor

Since you are not partnered with a female spouse, you will require help from an egg donor. This is another crucial part of your journey as your baby will likely be born with the donor’s physical and psychological traits.

Sit down with a notepad and jot down what qualities you want in an egg donor.

● Do you want her facial attributes similar to yours or your mother?

● Do you want a donor with higher academic achievements?

● What eye color, hair color, height, ethnicity do you prefer in the donor?

Once you know what you are looking for in a donor, contact an egg donation agency and find the right donor. On the other hand, you can ask a family member (mother or sister) to be your egg donor.

Create the Surrogacy Contract

After you have found the perfect surrogate and egg donor match, it’s time to create the surrogacy contract. You will need to hire an attorney to help you draft the agreement. The draft will be reviewed by the surrogate and her attorney too.

It’s wise that you check the terms multiple times and sign the contract when both you and the surrogate are comfortable with them.

Make sure the contract clearly mentions all terms related to finances, surrogate’s compensation, parentage and all other sensitive matters.

IVF Embryo Transfer

Next, the IVF clinic will collect your sperm and fertilize the donor eggs in the IVF lab to create embryos. Meanwhile, your surrogate will prepare for the embryo transfer. The IVF clinic will schedule the right time for the transfer and on the determined date, your surrogate will visit the clinic. You can choose to be present at the moment. Two weeks after the embryo transfer, a blood test will be done to confirm the pregnancy.

Pregnancy and Wait

After the blood test confirms pregnancy, your surrogate will visit her Ob-Gyn on monthly/weekly appointments to monitor the pregnancy progress. The surrogate and you can choose to be in contact but it’s best to firsthand discuss the level of communication and openness both of you will prefer.

The Delivery

Your surrogate will be admitted to the chosen hospital one or two days before the due date. You will be notified about the due date beforehand so that you can prepare for the drive or flight. If agreed to in the contract, you can be present in the delivery room. Once the baby is born, you will have to complete some legal work to establish yourself as the baby’s legal guardian.

That’s it! Now you have become a proud dad and you can take the baby home and start a happy family.

Gestational Surrogacy Allows Single Fathers To Have A Baby